The Last Mile: To My Son on His 17th

Originally I posted this at “A Mother on the Road Less Traveled.” But since we are in the middle of #40Day Challenge: Mother Teresa Edition, I decided to move this tribute here.

Because of the pictures I post most often on my blog, it would be reasonable to assume that we have only one child: my incandescent fifteen-year-old who never met a camera lens she doesn’t like.

But today we celebrate the birthday of another child who, though allergic to getting his picture taken (ahem), is also my pride and joy.

He turns seventeen today. Yes, on Ash Wednesday. Father says he can still have birthday cake – though he can offer it up if he wants to. (Which he probably would, so long as I give him the same weight in frozen blueberries.) We have one more year together until he finishes high school and officially launches himself into adulthood. Christopher, in honor of your birthday today I want you to know 17 reasons I’m so grateful God brought you into our lives.

1. You’re my “homeboy.” Unlike Sarah, who can’t wait to launch herself into the big, wide world, you are happiest here (well, here with your girlfriend). And though you spend most of your waking hours in the toxic zone of your room, because it is your birthday I won’t go there!
2. You are funny. Your classmates and teachers, your friends, and your family all delight in your wicked, playful, Christopher-ish sense of humor. Yes, you sometimes use it to get out of trouble (who wouldn’t?). But you are one funny guy.
3. Your smile. The sight of that roguish grin makes me all warm inside. Like sunshine on a cloudy day. You long for braces … and you will get them. But I love your smile just the way it is.
4. Your art. You love your colored pencils, and have killed whole trees in your drive to capture the perfect animae character. You have an artist’s soul.
5. You are kind and loyal. Two of the qualities I most admire about your dad, you have in spades as well. Despite all the changes in your life, you hold your friends fast.
6. You love fiercely. It takes my breath away — and frankly makes me a little scared for you — to see how you give yourself to your friends without holding anything back. I pray that they will always return the favor.
7. You believe, no matter what. When your schoolmates challenge and tease you, you don’t back down. You know what you believe, and stick to it in good times and bad.
8. You can see your future, and know what you want. That house in Michigan, a good job, and a family. In an age when marriage is a shaky institution, you aspire to be a good husband and father. That makes me prouder than I can say.
9. Your compassion. Even when your sister annoys the snot out of you, at the first tear you are visibly moved to reach out to her.
10. Your eyes. They dance when you are happy, they cloud over when life gets hard. Those clear blue orbs really are a window to your soul.
11. You are easy to make happy. A large bowl of ice cream (with blueberries, if possible) with your girlfriend and an animae cartoon … Or an afternoon with Jacob on his farm. These are the things that light you up.
12. You try. When you mess up, you do your best to fix it. Over and over again, you start over and keep trying. That’s a hard skill … and you have it.
13. You take to heart my advice. You don’t always look like you are listening … but I see you taking up the challenge.
14. Your balancing act. Part boy, part man … all heart.
15. Your quest for goodness. You sometimes mess up (we all do). But I have no doubt that, in your heart, you want to be a good person and make the right choices.
16. You trust people. Despite all the difficult hand life has tossed your way, you keep reaching out.
17. You call me mom. You are the only boy in the world with that particular challenge. Because of you, my heart lives outside my body — and I have the privilege of helping you achieve your dreams. I’m so proud to call you my son.

Happy Birthday, Christopher!

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Weekend Ponderings: Never Give Up!

It took four months, but he DID IT! Christopher is now a 9th geup, and has his bright yellow stripe on his formerly boring-white belt! Yippee!!!

Standing at the table before their instructors, the students were questioned about their knowledge of tae kwan do. Standing in front of a sea of parents, it must have been very scary to go through an oral exam. One little boy couldn’t identify the American flag on the wall (and none of his classmates appeared to be in any rush to answer the question, either). They were doing their best … but the pressure was on.

This weekend, the second reading (from the book of Philippians) reminds us of our heavenly citizenship.

Brothers and sisters:
Our citizenship is in heaven,
and from it we also await a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
He will change our lowly body
to conform with his glorified body
by the power that enables him also
to bring all things into subjection to himself.

All the nerve-wracking ordeal, the butterflies in the stomach, the moments of not knowing the right thing to say at the moment we most need to say it … gone. We will exchange our lowly “belt” for an exalted one, secure in the knowledge that we have run the race, and won.

As parents, we have an even more sobering responsibility: Not only to prepare ourselves for heaven, by the grace of God, but to help our families get ready as well. All the stories of faith, hope, love, and the other virtues; all the careful coaching in faith and life choices; all the effort we pour into the moral formation of our children. We can never give up; the stakes are too high.

This Lent, let’s run the race before us with endurance, so that when Easter arrives we can celebrate like Christopher did when he got his new belt: Dancing for joy!