Today at “Mommy Monsters”: *sigh*

Every once in a while I notice some incoming activity or link from a site that — to put it mildly — doesn’t think much about EMN, or the National Council for Adoption, or anyone who believes that there could be circumstances when a birth mother ought to have a say in whether she wants to be reunited with her child decades after placing him or her for adoption.

Usually, I just ignore these links, and I don’t bother to read them. My blog, my rules — their blog, their rules, and I’m pretty sure we’re both set enough in our positions that there isn’t much point to continuing the dialogue. Agree to disagree, and all that.

But over the past few days, I’ve been simmering on the topic of adoptive parenthood. In particular, does being an adoptive parent (as opposed to a birth parent or adult adoptee) by definition mean that I “can’t understand” — and therefore my opinion on the subject is irrelevant? Should we adoptive parents just go away quietly to lick our wounds, and wait for our child to make up his mind about who is “real” parents are?

Some would — some HAVE — said yes. I don’t think so. I write about it here.

This is one I’m not interested in discussing further (surprise). If you want to respond privately, feel free. (Flamers will be summarily tossed in my trashbin.) I’ve turned off comments in both places. This time, I just want you to listen.

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About hsaxton

Heidi Hess Saxton is an adoptive parent of two children, and converted to Catholicism in 1994. She is adoptive parent columnist at CatholicMom.com and CatholicExchange.com. She also writes for the Parenting Channel at AnnArbor.com. In her spare time, she is finishing up her Master's thesis at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit.