The adoption community is abuzz over the new horror movie “Orphan,” which (in its trailer) raises the question of whether adoptive parents can love their children as much as biological parents do. Here’s an article about it.
Personally, I have a hard time getting worked up about this one. While I’m not into horror flicks, I understand the appeal for some: the opportunity to face one’s deepest fears in order to get a thrill in a “safe” environment. Frankly, anyone who has ever dealt with a child with attachment issues is not going to see this movie: They’ve already lived the nightmare. For them, “Orphan” would not be the least bit entertaining.
Reading over the comments following the CBS article, it seemed to me that most comments fell in one of two categories, both of which needed a bit of balance. The “get over it, it’s just a movie” camp, on one hand, missed or ignored altogether the fact that there really are people out there for whom adoption has turned out to be something less than the rosy scenario they’d thought it would be. Many of these people do, in fact, wonder if they will ever LIKE — much less love — the little monsters who are draining them of every last bit of energy and goodwill. I hear from these parents more often than I’d like to admit.
And yet, the “OMG, my children are going to be scarred for life” variety, I thought, also needed a bit of balance. As for the idea that it might dissuade a potential couple from adopting, I’d say this: foster care and adoption is not for the weak of heart. If a simple movie — or movie trailer — is enough to turn a couple off to the process, it’s probably better that way.