Today I came across this article online that identifies the signs that you have miscarried.
Recently Tina at “Antique Mommy” posted about her experiences with infertility, and put together a helpful list of things not to say to someone who is having difficulty trying to conceive. I hadn’t considered before that suggesting adoption might not be appropriate.
My husband and I got married knowing that having a child of our own would be highly unlikely (though we would have been thrilled had it happened). So for us, we enthusiastically embraced adoption as a wonderful way to share our love with kids who might otherwise never have a home.
And yet, Tina’s article reminds me: It’s all about timing. Each family needs an opportunity to grieve their loss and frustration in their own way before they can be open to other possibilities. Those in the throes of grief don’t need an easy fix, but a listening ear.
Merciful Father, when one of your daughters is grieving,
Let Your gentle Spirit flow through through me,
That I might be a source of healing and comfort.
Teach me not to push, but to embrace. Amen.
Hooray for Tina putting that together! Yes, don’t jump in with adoption….it’s actually on the same level as right after a miscarriage saying “don’t worry, you’ll have another one!”
I’ve experienced both. trust me…they both hurt.
one note on miscarriage, it’s a lost baby no matter how far along you are when it happens. Please refrain from comparing them….”oh well, at least it was early!…..so and so lost her baby at x months!!”
(I say this to the mother who miscarried as well as any well wishers…as we tend to hurt ourselves the most.)
Thank you for this, Heidi. My husband and I have at least three siblings between the two of us who are having difficulty with conception. I’m going to print Tina’s article for another family member who is possibly NOT being helpful in her enthusiasm to pray for them (as in, “did my prayers work yet?” kind of thing). Anyway, thanks again for sharing this!