Parents of hurt children need to focus on being happy with what they have been given, rather than sad about imperfect results. The “might have beens” must be grieved, but with the knowledge that their child now has a forever family. He has a home where he can leave his yearbook, bring his children, and spend holidays. He has a history and fond memories. He has a family that loves him and serves him — a model of behavior he has internalized that will aid in his own parenting one day.
Many times, parents who adopt a hurt child find themselves doing it again. “It’s like cross-stitching,” a single adoptive mom of six said. “It’s kind of addicting, and you never know how it’s going to come out until it’s done.”
For all the tears and trials of parenting a hurt child, the payoffs can far exceed the heartache. As a society, we owe these parents a debt for all they have invested and endured. While their children may not be perfect (none are), they have been given the tools to become competent, responsible, loving adults who will be contributing members of society. That is a tremendous gift to the child … and to all of us.