10 Things I’ve Learned About Love

Between my back going out (again), school deliveries, and trash detail, Craig managed to get all the way to work before calling to remind me what day it is.

Happy 8th Anniversary, Sweetheart.

Time flies when we’re having fun … and sometimes even when we’re not!

This year, in lieu of yet another “100 Reasons I Love My Husband” tribute, I’d like to share with you “10 Things I’ve Discovered About Love.” Some of these things I learned courtesy my kids, some since marrying Craig … but all because of my vocation as a wife and mother. Here goes …

10. Love is … hearing snores, and suggesting a check-up for sleep apnia rather than simply covering my face with a pillow so he can sleep. If Craig has his way, one day we’re going to have his-n-her sleep apnia gear. Dueling Darth Vadar masks, if you will.

9. Love is … knowing there really is such a thing as too quiet to sleep (this discovered when I found myself alone in my hotel room a few weeks ago while taping a show with Johnnette). It seems my body goes on alert, rather than drowsy, when I’m not in close proximity to snoring and spinning.

8. Love is … assuring me I do too look good in a bathing suit (when looked upon by love-goggled eyes).

7. Love knows … the best presents are thoughtful, not expensive. It’s getting up with the kids on Saturday mornings, giving me the last cold Diet Coke in the fridge, and loading the dishwasher or cleaning a bathroom without being asked.

6. Love remembers … sometimes the best retort in an argument is silence. (Craig wins more arguments that way, since he seldom has to retract hastily spoken words!)

5. Love forgets … whose turn it is to (pick one) do the laundry/pick up the kids/take out the trash/buy a birthday present, and just goes ahead and does it because it needs to be done.

4. Love means … listening patiently even when the topic isn’t particularly enthralling, or when you’ve heard the story before, or when your partner is so worked up about it that you can’t get a word in edgewise.

3. Love does … the hardest part of the job. When Missy was killed last December, Craig volunteered to remove her carcass from the road and bury her so I wouldn’t have to see it. I volunteered to tell the kids, so Craig didn’t have to worry about explaining it at a level they could understand.

2. Love is … gentle and kind. This is the single most important lesson I’ve learned from Craig … and one that’s taken the longest to sink in. Gentleness is not a virtue that comes naturally to me, having been raised in a “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” kind of household. Truth be told, if I could have one flaw surgically removed, it would be my tendency to be rigid and demanding … especially with my family. God knew this kind of surgery isn’t possible … and so He gave me my patient and kind gentle giant of a husband, who inspires me to lose the vice by modeling the opposite virtue (just as St. Teresa of Avila used to tell her sisters).

1. Love is … most powerful in the “even when.” Loving even when someone’s being ugly. Even when someone makes a mistake or forgets. Even when a better-looking or younger model is all too available. Even when someone is (let’s be honest) not being particularly loveable. The power of love is demonstrated in the “I choose to love you, even when …”
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About hsaxton

Heidi Hess Saxton is an adoptive parent of two children, and converted to Catholicism in 1994. She is adoptive parent columnist at CatholicMom.com and CatholicExchange.com. She also writes for the Parenting Channel at AnnArbor.com. In her spare time, she is finishing up her Master's thesis at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit.

2 thoughts on “10 Things I’ve Learned About Love

  1. What a beautiful list, Heidi! I hear you on the gentle and kind especially – my husband too is a gentle giant, and has taught me more through his example of silence and gentleness than I learned the entire 25 years before falling into the depths of his eyes. 🙂

    Like

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