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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

This one was so funny, I just had to share. 

What did you give your husband for your 10th anniversary? Bet this lady’s got you beat.

Thanks to Elizabeth Scalia (a.k.a. “The Anchoress) for sharing!

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Here we are, celebrating Thanksgiving with the grandparents.  Each kiddo has a small helping of  meat, veggies, green bean casserole and crawfish dressing on their plate.
 
I keep trying to encourage the Gator-boy (age 3 1/2)  to try his food. 
 
He’ll eat all the meat but nothing else!
 
I point out that crawfish is meat…..”NO!”
 
Wanna try some off Momma’s fork?….”NO!”
 
I’m gonna steal it if you don’t eat it….mmmm mmm…so good….here, you wanna bite?  … “NO!”
 
OK, fine, I give up. Eat the meat, leave the rest, at least you’re quiet and happy and not starting a food fight in Mimi’s formal dining room.
 
Then I get caught up cutting meat for Sonshine……
 
That’s when I hear it.  “Crawfish!…giggle”
 
Huh????
 
I turn around to see that Grandad is helping Gatorboy search for, find and EAT all the crawfish out of his dressing.  Grandparents have magic :-)
 
I may have to change my name.  
 
signed…..
Nolongermighty Mom.

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Sugars (21 months)Gator Boy (3-1/2)Sonshine (5)
Mighty Mom is back, feeling very thankful … As we enter the

Advent season, let’s join her in a moment of giving thanks.

(I’m especially thankful that the holiday weekend is over and

the kids are back in school!)

Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look

around once in awhile, you could miss it.”

So, what has Mightymom been doing for the last two weeks while

she wasn’t writing Mighty Mom Monday posts?

Cue the music! Sing along with me folks, the tune is

“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”…

There was retching and puking and cleaning the carpets.
washing the sheets and changing the diapers…
But the best of all …. are the blessings that I can recall!

(Ba dum dum dum)

Sick kids are very snuggly
Even those who usually aren’t
Husbands are very handy
Renting carpet cleaners fast.

Bath time is lots of fun
even several times a day
it makes you smell so yummy
and washes all the sicks away.

Then there’s one more very big… Blessing I must share
I would up and go to work… Leaving hubby there (he’s the best)!

Now all the kids are better
Eating all the food they can
Running around like banshees
Playing hard and chasing cats!

Yup, life moves pretty fast, remember to stop and count your blessings

during this busy season, folks.

Photo credit: Church Candles Online; also photos from Mighty Mom!

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From Sarah’s mail-bag this week…. Thanks, Mighty Mom!

likemommy

Note: Mommy actually works at Home Depot,

and is selling a shovel.   

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If you’re in need of a little chuckle today, I’d like to direct you over to my book website, where my husband recently posted this ecumenical rib-tickler. (Note, the cartoon has several frames … you have to wait for it.)

Thanks, Deb Richardson, for sending it my way!

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Congratulations to Kate Sherwin at “Rosemary Sauce.” Her entry, “Like Mother, Like Son” was this month’s winner of the “Weird Mom Moments” Carnival Contest! Kate won $50, since she had the EMN button prominently displayed on her site! Good work, Kate!

Every mom must have them at one time or another … the moments she looks down at herself and say, “What have I DONE to myself?!” I know I have, as my daughter reminded me only recently. “Don’t be weird, mom…”

I can’t help it. I was born and raised that way … by a woman who clearly did not mind appearing ridiculous for the benefit of her girls (and their respective Girl Scout/religious education/school friends). She would burst into song … loudly, though usually on key … with all sorts of ditties, like:

“I’m wild about horns on automobiles that go WAH_AH_AH_AH_AH_AH_AH (ooga, ooga)”

“John Jacob Jingerheimer Schmidt, his name is my name too. Whenever we go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.”

“Oh, an Austrian went yodeling on the mountaintop high…” (and proceeded to tangle with a grizzly bear, St. Bernard, Jersey Cow, and pretty girl with the appropriate gestures and sound effects).

She’d do stuff, too … weird mom stuff. Like the day she took us on a Girl Scout Hike through High Point State Park to teach us trail-making … and we wound up 10 miles up the Appalacian Trail. Or the time she took us camping, and left the bubble gum in our tent; that night we watched the squirrels blowing bubbles as they jumped from tree to tree. Or the time, shortly after my sister had her leg operated on, she brought a hand puppet to stick on my sister’s foot, to give the doctors (and my sister) a good laugh when they pulled back the covers. Or the time our dog got in the house when she was putting the finishing touches on a wedding cake (she made wedding cakes as a sideline when we were little), and she was forced to “fix” the cake rather than make a new one. (I’ll spare you the gory details.)

Judging from how few entries that were submitted for this contest, I’d have to say that there are a lot of moms out there who don’t want to let on about all the weirdness that goes on in their houses. There were a galliant few, however … and my hat goes off to you, too!

“If you jump off that and breakyour leg, don’t come running to me!” Moms are famous for all sorts of homespun wisdom. Barb Szyszkiewicz of “SFO Mom” adds a few memorable zingers of her own in her contribution to the EMN Carnival,  “Things Parents Say (when they live at my house.”

And Sarah (A.K.A. my favorite humor blogger, “Mighty Mom”) adds to the weirdness with her own “Look Before You Touch!”

Thanks, ladies for participating!

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This classic post is from “My Wonderful Life” . For those who just can’t get enough, here’s installment #3!(June 2007). Thanks, Sarah!

OK, here we are halfway through the summer. I had 2 goals for this summer back in May.

1) Get Alligator’s fingers OUT OF THAT MOUTH.

2) Potty train Sonshine.

Apparently, God laughed and laughed when I told Him these goals. I’ve given up on Gator-Boy for now. He started cutting those 2-year molars and, to tell the truth, it just wasn’t worth the fight.

Sonshine, however, I am working with. So far he’s decided he wants to spend every waking moment in the bathroom, flushing the toilet. I was emailed a video once about a guy’s cat who kept flushing the toilet. At the time I wondered just how huge his water bill must be. Now I know. The thing is, not only does Sonshine keep flushing it, but so does Alligator.

Last night I was on the phone for 15 min. Sonshine was asleep on the couch (it was past bedtime). Alligator-boy spent the ENTIRE 15 minutes running from the chair, where he giggled at the cat (who was non-plussed to say the least) to the bathroom, where he flushed the toilet.

I’ve tried and tried to teach them to at least wait till the potty stops making noise before flushing again. But they seem to think this is child abuse. So, here’s my question to you. We have childproof locks for EVERYTHING. There’s one to keep toilet lids shut, there’s one to keep the toilet paper from being unrolled. There’s one to keep toys out of VCRs. There are even little clips to keep shoes tied. How do you keep the kid from just flushing the toilet over and over and over?

Fortunately (or not), neither of them have mastered peeing in the potty yet … so we haven’t discovered we can flush stuff down the toilet. Once that happens I’m afraid it’ll all be over, the battle lost. I might as well just put a pillow in the bathroom and move in.

And what would you call a contraption that prevents multiple flushings anyway … a Single Shot Potty?? Get a Handle on your Toilet Handle?? One Flush at a Time?? The One Flush Wonder??

Potty Training: The Prequel

Well, it’s been a rough week. So I decided I needed to laugh, and y’all can laugh with me.

So, we’re trying to potty train Sonshine. This is proving more difficult than we expected. In order to help him get the idea of what it is that I want him to do, I’ve asked Subvet to take Sonshine with him when he needs to pee. Show him how big boys do it … all that.

Well, Subvet is a little shy about this sort of thing but sportingly agreed.

So, the time came … and Dad and Son went into the bathroom for the first time to see what it’s all about. I’m in the living room listening to the following conversation. (All from Subvet.)

“Come on, let’s go tee tee like a big boy … Geez, this is embarrassing ….
Yeah, Daddy’s a big boy …  This is how big boys put tee tee in the potty.
(I can’t believe I’m doing this) …

“Yeah, Daddy’s tee tee … HEY, DON’T DO THAT!!! GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THERE!! Come and wash your hands.”

Apparently Sonshine had decided to “play in Daddy’s fountain.” Daddy was NOT amused.

*Sigh*

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